crazy (déjà something)
is the sum of us
counted out into highway miles
between here and the ocean: two-
oh-seven the plastic
inscribed on the single room
key; three close
hours we fight
to keep the bed
from squeaking while your
four gushing walls tattoo
against my own
ever, a millisecond that melts
skin into skin & still
hurts with yearning; the backdrop blue-
lit bourbons spilt
through drip-
ping minutes of Saturday night
into the misty evanescence
of Sunday morning &
suddenly it’s five
twenty-five and unbearable:
the distance, the leaving in
darkness, the cleaving
breathless-ness of one.
That’s one sweet equation, poet
It is masterful in construct and execution!
And for all it’s layers, leaves a remainder of one…..
Beautiful
e
January 22, 2013 at 2:35 pm
yep. though i never liked math much. thanks, e.
January 27, 2013 at 11:28 am
whew…there is some heat in this one joanna…sounds like a rather fun weekend….i def know the time and seeing it come to an end…that reminded me of when i was working out of town and only saw my fam on the weekend…the leaving in darkness, done that a few times…eeking every moment out…i could have interpretted it as illicit at that point, but didn’t…
January 22, 2013 at 2:46 pm
“ilicit” is all in the point of view, b.
January 27, 2013 at 11:28 am
def. some nice heat in this…and weekend relationships can be so tough..on the other hand they have their own spell as well…far away from daily routine…
January 22, 2013 at 5:30 pm
Wow… Love the intensity of this. The phrasing and the rhythm and how you take us right there. Really amazing!
-Eva
January 22, 2013 at 5:41 pm
I felt this got stronger as it went on, and the whole second half works particularly well for me.
January 22, 2013 at 5:50 pm
This is my first visit here and as much as I enjoyed the poem I smiled more at the title of your blog. Cheers!
January 22, 2013 at 7:42 pm
glad it brought you a smile. you’re most certainly welcome back here, anytime.
January 27, 2013 at 11:27 am
This captures the razor sadness of a long distance extra-curricular relationship I balanced about 15 years ago, and a rush f feelings came back. That intoxicating joy the night before, then the emotional bruising the next morning. I’d guess this is probably autobiographical, and as I gentleman I won’t ask, but if it made up out of whole cloth, then you’re the writer with the skills to pull it off. Loved this, and now I’m going to remember 1998-2000 for a while.
January 22, 2013 at 8:01 pm
happy to have been able to take you for a ride down memory lane, Mosk.
as to your gentlemanly non-question, as a lady i guess i shouldn’t answer. lol!
January 27, 2013 at 11:26 am
This is great. I especially like the sound of:
suddenly it’s five
twenty-five and unbearable:
the distance, the leaving in
darkness, the cleaving
breathless-ness of one.
January 22, 2013 at 8:06 pm
Breathtaking words here.
January 22, 2013 at 11:13 pm
thanks, Grettchen
January 27, 2013 at 11:24 am
Brilliant…captured with a snap clasp..the sinking depressing feeling of leaving in the dark…fantastic poem.
January 22, 2013 at 11:13 pm
Can we get an extension to 5:25 AM Monday? At least Monday if not Tuesday.
January 23, 2013 at 4:40 pm
for you, Carl, certainly!
January 27, 2013 at 11:19 am
wonderful writing, a poem that lingers …
January 26, 2013 at 6:06 pm