present tense
unprogram yester-
day, its yellowed heavy
footprints. reset, re-
breathe
the borrowed air
he gave you in fistfuls
until sighing it drips
purified by sleepy gasps
of oblivion.
there
never was a forever; gold
greened with a patina
of rust-encrusted openings,
tetanus in a tumbler
that
you needn’t
carry with you
though the weight
pounds systolically
after your shadow
like a one-legged man
left behind
at the bus stop: lub-dub,
lub-dub, crutches
on hot cement, a coronary
noose you’ve
slipped up and over,
unknotted
to land
on two feet, square.
you needn’t carry it with you,
the whiplashed flagellation of
if only,
up the slopes of
tomorrow’s mornings
and into your first
real today
in years.
Oh, I like this very much 🙂 Especially, “you needn’t carry it with you, the whiplashed flagellation of if only,” What a fantastic way to say it!
July 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm
tetanus in a tumbler crusted green heart-locks….lovely verse, and thanks for posting it.
July 5, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Thanks, Peter. “tetanus in a tumbler” was one of my favorite bits, too. 🙂 Always appreciate your stopping by.
July 7, 2011 at 9:38 am
Crafty line breaks here! Good poem.
July 5, 2011 at 6:11 pm
ah if only will get you every time…the coronary noose…nice image….and the flagellation…yikes…but oh so real…
July 5, 2011 at 7:21 pm
dayummmmmmmmmmm. ur good. the tetanus in a tumbler, the old man at the bus stop, all of it….
July 5, 2011 at 8:07 pm
*bows unceremoniously* Thank you, coalblack. you make me feel all warm and fuzzy. 🙂 You’re welcome back here any time.
July 7, 2011 at 9:36 am
This is really good. But you knew that. Still, I can’t help telling you this is extremely effective and original on a subject that is rarely addressed in a truly original way. Fine writing.
July 5, 2011 at 8:14 pm
very effective writing
July 6, 2011 at 12:51 am
This is absolutely beautiful. I could read poetry like this forever. Every turn, every line feels like a new learning event. It is a very creative way of exploring a concept that has been hashed over quite a bit. It is a beautiful way of exploring the concept. Lots of good colors! Loved it!
July 6, 2011 at 1:39 am
wow, thanks Carl. you’re making me blush again…
July 7, 2011 at 9:34 am
Gritty and powerfully-written. Love your writing. 🙂 // Peter.
July 6, 2011 at 6:32 am
always honored to have praise from a writer such as yourself, Peter. Thanks. 🙂
July 7, 2011 at 9:33 am
Yeah, I go on great line breaks too, plus the images. Great work, Joanna.
July 6, 2011 at 6:49 am
breathe
the borrowed air
he gave you in fistfuls
until sighing it drips
purified by sleepy gasps
of oblivion.
there
never was a forever; gold
greened with a patina
of rust-encrusted openings
This is original in its depiction of the clanging trail of materialized pain we carry with us, preventing us from being fully embodied today. Well done!
July 6, 2011 at 12:54 pm
AWESOME!! A great message .. conveyed in the most effective and poetic manner!
This summer, it’s raining memories I believe.. and some are really tough to let go of… ughhh… but somehow, they never really do anything to better one’s future, do they?
You have expressed this beautifully, Siubhan.. bravo!
July 6, 2011 at 2:57 pm
into your first
real today
in years…
where there might be a forever after all, a beautiful forever.
There is hope, a promise in your words! I like that!
July 7, 2011 at 2:36 am
Thanks, everyone, for your kind comments. I think this is a record for me in “likes.” 🙂 It was good to write for a change something where, as Broken Sparkles says, “There is hope.” We all need a little of that now and then. 😉
Cheers,
–jsl
July 7, 2011 at 9:31 am
thanks for popping in…i will def still be around…just not at OSp…see you soon
July 7, 2011 at 10:56 am
This was great. seems like all the others have taken the words I wanted to say.. so, great it is:-)
I will be back…( and thank you for your time and words on mine a swell)
July 7, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Ayee good god woman. I adore your poetry. This is why –
gold
greened with a patina
of rust-encrusted openings,
tetanus in a tumbler
July 10, 2011 at 11:14 am
Thanks, Luke. Means a lot coming from you. 😉
July 12, 2011 at 8:38 am