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These days weather
changes overnight.
Smoke filters sunlight;
embers burn all
the more brightly
for the silenced
desire. Yellow
maple sky, old
cracked oak
carpet over grass
that hasn’t even
yet been born.
Dewed frost gilds
homecoming
mornings,
words like
“hunker”
sprouting in
untried accents,
“distrust” burying
its lips in glowing
ash. A hand
can be a hard
thing to hold
in such climes;
fingers all too
easily balled in
anger. Memory
just won’t burn
as quickly as leaf-fall
and faithlessness
doesn’t pass
with the dew.
I think this is one of your best!
🙂 considering you’ve seen quite a bit of my work, I take that to mean a great deal. thank you.
Take this siubhan, frame it, and never write again!!!
this deserves a read or three. bravo lady.
*curtsies nicely* thanks, doll.
Nice emotional comparisons….
the held hand and the clenched fist…not a far fall from either….
so i am going to get to hear this friday night? yes we will be there…and hopefully early as well so if you want to grab a bite that would be awesome. will call you.
not sure what i’m reading friday night yet… i never decide till the day of. 😉 it’ll be great to see you again, brian. hanging out beforehand would be great if y’all are around & up for it. poetry tailgating!
i cannot even begin to express how much i enjoyed this. the images you placed in my mind are so rich. lovely penning, poet! I am following!
Kellie, ‘preciate much the kind thought & the follow. enjoyed your “backyard magic” very much as well!
yes…faithlessness
doesn’t pass
with the dew…unfortunately…great metaphor in here..
thanks, claudia. always great to have your feedback. 🙂
Fantastic poem. Those last few stanzas are just amazing. Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful!
This one just rolled off the tongue from beginning to end, brilliant verse.
Oh this is quite stunning. I love the short stanzas, the way they merge… so many amazing lines and the ending resonates so beautifully!
Some deep music here!
Very nice job here, lots of great images and well-thought out lines that both work as independent lines but also convey the overall sentiments that carry throughout the piece in the entirety. Enjoyed the piece, thanks:)
amazing, this should be published in the new york times..
!!!! wow. thanks so much!
I really, really like this…the description…fall is my favorite season and you underlined it succinctly!
and then the undertones and last lines…so true.
..smoke filters sunlight – sadly true.. a lot has already been changed these days… not the same world we used to live before.. excellent!
Good day!
~Kelvin
A seasonal activity becomes a metaphor for life. Well written.
Ain’t that the truth!
smooches,
Larie
Oh Yes!!!
“ash. A hand
can be a hard
thing to hold”
I liked the vividness of your images and thoughts….
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-tears-in-rain.html
The yellow maple sky definitely has my whole attention and admiration! Lovely!
Thanks, everyone, for your more than kind comments. Wow. I’m still blushing from all the things you guys have said! 🙂
peace,
–jsl
Beautiful poem. I had to read it a few times, as it just resonated for me. You captured the season and the undercurrent theme wonderfully here.
Nice piece! I love the line “a hand is a hard thing to hold’…really enjoyed this.
Particularly liked your uses of fire in this piece. Embers, glowing ash and
Memory
just won’t burn
as quickly as leaf-fall
A season of change and endings, indeed! Lovely.
beautiful pic… strong words… wonderful comparison… wish I had been there
many truthful words and thoughts, well penned.
The flames as a metaphor for anger…. man I always know when I get to a damn good poem… makes me read it over and over and over …. and I have read it several times trying to find the right words to say to describe how it made me feel. All I can come up with is WOW.
Wow. Such a lovely surprising poem. I loved the yellow maple sky and the hunkering in strange accents. So interesting. K.
This has startling imagery and great economy of language. It speaks with an authentic and original voice.
Such lovely imagery, Siubhan. I can see and smell autumn here.
“and faithlessness doesn’t pass with the dew” Makes me wonder if that mere water really washes away the sins as well
This was awesome. Would write something more but you said it already. Bitching verse dudette; captures your style like a knife through skin. Loved it.
crb.