watching sky darken,
we contemplate
words like leaden,
sultry, in-
digo. but leaden
is closer to
the slivered prison
of my rib-cage,
bars behind which
this ache pro-
creates. sultry
means barefoot river
afternoons and indigo
has always been
grotesque, except
on peacocks.
so instead i watch
raindrop veins
on plateglass,
think of melting &
the sublimation
of misted breath,
remember sweat
on glasses,
graveled chaos,
rug-burnt morning
sunlight before
the world changed.
but these windows
will not open and we
feel guilty for
our guilt, wonder
why the stars
stay absent. are
river afternoons so
different, now?
we watch and already
rain is slowing; veins
close & strand drops
in streetlit glass,
almost like star-
light. almost.
Â
the tenth muse 
This is evocative of some of the Spanish poets, at once an ode to nature and to melancholy, poems that I remember with wistfulness. All that is punctuated by your ‘almost’ at the end, like a question that is asked but that remains unanswered.
Thanks, Samuel. There was a time when I read as much Spanish poetry as English, so I take that very highly. 🙂 “Wistful” is a good word for this piece, I think.
I liked the quiet feel of this, the heavy melancholy. Almost like starlight, almost – just gorgeous. You’re a gifted writer. – Mosk
aww, Mosk. thanks. *blushes*
crap…just lost my comment….smiles…i really like the imagery of the rain on the window…it sets the tone as well….rug-burnt morning
sunlight before the world changed…is really cool…love hte descriptor you use, its creative and unique…but again builds the feel of this…the almost at the end wraps up the melancholy feel of the whole thing as well….
thanks, b. i think i saw your other comment in passing… *smiles back.* hope to see ya some time soon.
your poem published 4:12 AM May 16, 2012
appreciate it, Carl. looks gorgeous! will put up a link & check in frequently.
I sent you a poem last night in response to your poem and I think cyber space ate it.
Now I am left with just just these thoughts of appreciation.
😦 dislike. sorry about that, Tiger. i am always gratified by your responses. cyberspace has had an unwarranted appetite as of late.
Love the feel of this, beautiful!
Love that lingering close.
Tis a great write here.
*blushes* thanks so much.
Sorry for late comment. This is simply lovely in its remorse. I enjoyed the wonderful use of colors to evoke your sadness and the mood of your spirit.
i’m gradually learning that there is no “late” in poetry. 🙂 thanks for stopping by.
This is an interesting piece, and more so for me a new and interesting style. It is always fascinating how the different way you break up a poem can really affect a poem and its eventual meaning. Where does the style come from? Spanish poets, as suggested?
the style doesn’t come from any specific influence i can pinpoint, actually. i have been doing a lot with couplets & 3-line stanzas of late, mostly because i like the way they look on the page, i think. i’m also kinda a sucker for unexpected line breaks in general. 😉 thanks for reading, and for your insights.
Fascinating rhythm you’ve created through your unusual breaks. I like it.