what i mean when we talk about the weather

 

i am writing the same poems
i was before i met you, where,
raining, i was then too pre-

sprung and ungainly and in-
congruent, lofting
plastic smiles

and polysyllabic line-
breaks despite the yellow
of my skirt. alas, you say,

and i like the letters in the word,
how they spell wings
in other tongues, but we

are far from flying,
drown down in our
respective sadnesses,

can’t remember
conjugations or cloud
patterns or what it was

to love easy. it must be
snowing hard, still,
somewhere.

28 thoughts on “what i mean when we talk about the weather

  1. i never comment but this is excellent. that was my pretentious way to make you think that my comment was somehow important, when all that’s really important about this comment, is the excellent, quirky lil poem it’s attached to.

  2. End of the week, babe and its the beginning of Spring. Be done with winter and all the drab ice cold sadness out there. It will be a beautiful springtime and a wild summer thanks to global warming. I hope some of that warming melts that funk you be in. And what does the yellow skirt mean? It’s minor enough not to completely slow me down, but nagging at me since I have no clue what that means. I’m throwing you life savers to save you from drowning – which do you like, wint-o-green or butter rum? You’re a great poet, but pull yourself outta the blue quicksand. I’d miss you if it swallowed you up. love, Pop-o Moskowitz

    • oh, i like the traditional flavors best– red or green or yellow. πŸ™‚ thanks for watching out for me, friend Mosk. i need all the lifesavers i can get. and thanks for the mention over at d’Verse for P&B, too. you’re a doll. the yellow skirt… it was literal when i wrote it.
      beginning of spring… i am ready.

  3. i like how alas spells wings in other languages….and think there is symbolism in those wings as well…if you are writing what you were before you met have you come full circle or are you no further along? i hope spring finds you, that wings find you…that you dont have to wear yellow skirts to look happy but because you feel happy…smiles.

  4. Had to comment: Simplicity marks the winner–for me. However, the “simple” is not always the “easy”. The whole world is set to spring into NEW LIFE. And we can join the Universe, reveling that winter is finished once again. Sunshine and spring showers are here, and new growth. Smile, and be enthusiastic. When I cannot do those things, I fake them…and that works to lessen any negativity…

  5. and polysyllabic line-
    breaks despite the yellow
    of my skirt.

    Oh my! Love that stanza. And you reached out and pluck “polysyllabic line-break”, which strongly suggests you understand accentual poetry. Bravo for signaling in a fine poem your knowledge of poetic convention, which is something less seen in poetry today. I tip my hat to you and this poetic work.

    • accentual what? πŸ˜‰ i always feel like reaching out and experimenting as we turn toward April and NaPoMo. i actually wrote a second version of this poem– as a sonnet– for a workshop the other night. thanks for stopping by!

      • we’d love to see the sonnet version too. i agree with emmett, i think, in that it is good to have a feel for the conventions of rhyme, meter, form, even as we write free verse, and you display this in your carefully composed poetry, making every line count, every word carry its weight. Picasso was very good at realistic drawing, lines and composition, before he veered into the modern. i think it’s a little like that with you. your lines are sharp, they slice and dice, thrust and parry. this is poetry that can be read aloud and sound like a knife fight, a street dance, a late night ramble to the next bar, as opposed to the usual confessional free verse that so often reads like a loose fan belt or a snoring rhinocerous.

Thoughts?

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