because while some truths lend themselves to equations, others are best described in verse

rejection letter

there is alchemy
in my blood; it draws
you like wildfire, indifferently.
my words build the bridges
your absence pulls down;
while i connect the stars like needlepricks
between synapses, mapping
consciousness and constellations
with the electricity of a penstroke,
you sleep pressed tight
against the cottony pillow
of paper dreams.  i am the
metaphysical mistress
to the truths you never knew,
the quiet rejoinder
to all the hopes you ever surrendered.
if one day our tongues meet
across a coffee table or a revolution
don’t speak to me of love poetry:
i prefer your bitter
silence and the offbeat
of brokenhearted arrhythmia.

23 responses


  1. if one day our tongues meet
    across a coffee table or a revolution”

    I just love that image. The whole poem is so engaging, haunting, passionate. Love it.

    January 10, 2011 at 11:42 am

  2. belladonna23

    this really was amazing. WOW

    January 10, 2011 at 4:28 pm

  3. This is a wonderful poem. It had a special personal meaning to me, and the small and large imagery combination was fantastic! Thank you for adding to the day!

    January 11, 2011 at 9:55 am

  4. Thank you ALL for your wonderful comments!

    Heather, that’s one of my favorite lines as well 🙂

    belladonna, i’m blushing.

    and carl most of all; i’m glad you found a meaning in it of your own.

    ciao!
    jsl

    January 11, 2011 at 11:03 am

  5. That was perspicacious poem. First off, LOVED the ‘don’t speak to me of love poetry” line. The whole image was fantastic, but it is so frigging impossible to break free from writing about that fucking subject. Your larger point in context of the piece seemed a magnified examination on the whole ‘satisfaction of needs'(but who’s needs?) Maslow-like is a great example of what I’ve come to see as your poetic voice. Admitting knowledge of ignorance… (Yes yes, if you prefer Socrates “Knowing that we know nothing” line, feel free to interject it here) a Catch-22 where you stack the imagery in a poem to illustrate that it can’t be done.

    That is my long winded way of saying I very much enjoyed the poem and glad to see there are a few more for me to read since I last checked (long, and not interesting story) in. Hope all is well, keep ’em coming!

    Loved the title btw – works every which way but loose.

    crb.

    January 11, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    • crb,

      i don’t think i’ve ever had a poem called “perspicacious” before. wow. i’m not sure i follow you tho on the whole “maslow-like” thing. while it is true that i tend to build some pieces up from the physical… yeah i’m still not sure i follow.

      And i think we can leave socrates out of this. truth is personal. ignorance is relative. and i’m glad you enjoyed the piece. 🙂 Glad to see you back, and hope all is well on your front likewise.

      cheers
      jsl

      January 12, 2011 at 12:41 pm

      • Re – Maslow; sorry, was referring to his Hierarchy of Needs. I.e. the building up of your poem by the fulfillment of them. Hope that makes more sense.

        BTW – think it’s great you are a relativist and a determinist at the same time. I was unaware that was possible. To be clear, I’m just saying it from a historical POV. Agree 100% on the relativism in most circumstances. Truth may be or may not, but nothing human is personal. Apologies, just not a fan of any kind of ‘truth’ be it religious, social, or otherwise.

        Always love swinging through to read your page. Keep ’em coming! Whenever I need a look through someone else’s eyes for a minute, your poetry is the first place I look. Thanks. Hope all is well,

        crb.

        January 18, 2011 at 5:22 pm

        • Re- Maslow; yeah, i’m familiar with him and his pyramid but still not quite on the same page. guess you saw this piece with eyes different than my own. which is very cool and half the point, actually.

          as far as relativism/determinism, i guess i look at truth kinda like beauty: something subjective, and, hence, personal. what is true for me may not be true for you (or any creed, religion, school of thought or what have you). And i have to disagree with you in that i think everything human is personal… to someone, at least. We shall have to agree to disagree.

          On a related note, do you tweet? i ask because i tried this strange thing called a “poetparty” via twitter on Sunday night, and the topic of discussion was truth in poetry. it was a kinda weird experience, to be honest; thought-provoking–including a lot about what we’ve been talking about herein–but weird. Then again i’m not exactly a crackshot with the social networking. Anyway, the guys that put it on are here (http://www.32poems.com) if you’re interested.

          Always glad to have your two cents on my work, and i always enjoy looking through your poetry likewise. How are you so prolific and keep up such a high talent level at the same time? It never ceases to amaze me.

          Best,
          jsl

          January 19, 2011 at 12:45 pm

  6. Really enjoyed your descriptive offering – great imagery and really striking moments in your choice of words between sharp (needles) and soft (pillows!), like the whole mix of emotions rejection in whichever direction it goes presents. Great share!

    January 11, 2011 at 7:07 pm

  7. waystationone

    oh i love how this comes to a close…guess i will hold onto those love poems…smiles. nice one shot

    January 11, 2011 at 8:17 pm

  8. Lynne

    I echo your other reviewers.. great write.. sharp, full of deeper meanings I’m sure, and the imagary is on-point..
    Yes, a great One Shot!!

    January 11, 2011 at 9:21 pm

  9. dustus

    Love it, especially the part “while i connect the stars like needlepricks / between synapses, mapping / consciousness and constellations / with the electricity of a penstroke,” Nice play on words that ties in very well to the brokenhearted arrhythmia in closing.

    January 12, 2011 at 10:20 am

  10. very good….strong lines with a powerful end..made a great read…cheers pete

    January 12, 2011 at 11:51 am

  11. ladynyo

    This is such a powerful, completing, engaging poem!

    There isn’t a stumble in any of the words, they are perfectly picked to progress the poem.

    Amazing piece of work!

    Lady Nyo

    January 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

  12. Carmela, Lynne– appreciate your kind words. imagery is one of my favorite past-times 🙂

    waystationone– no worries: toss those love poems out any which way you please; i promise not to respond with any bitterness! 😉

    dustus– thank you! the physicality of the poem in words like “arrhythmia” and “synapses” is one of its stronger arguments, i think.
    ps–i am enjoying the One Stop experience immensely!

    pete, ladynyo– i appreciate your kind words as well as your stopping by; thanks on both counts!

    cheers all,
    jsl

    January 12, 2011 at 12:34 pm

  13. Wow! This is fantastic. You enchanted me from the beginning and sealed it for me with “I am the metaphysical mistress”

    Beautiful!

    January 12, 2011 at 6:00 pm

  14. Excellent as always.
    The words you use always drive up so much imagery.

    January 12, 2011 at 9:57 pm

  15. Its most enjoyable and your ‘needle pricks’ inspired me to write one Haiku.

    World turned upside down
    Through the needle prick sieve
    Sky filtered all the stars

    I liked it so much.. thanks for sharing…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

    January 13, 2011 at 11:05 am

  16. this sparkles.
    i adore the lines:

    “if one day our tongues meet
    across a coffee table or a revolution
    don’t speak to me of love poetry”

    they have the delicate flavor of Neruda-lines.

    January 13, 2011 at 2:30 pm

  17. Nomar, thanks. i like the feeling that “metaphysical mistress” bit gives, too. empowering, somehow. glad you stopped by.

    Hi Arts; always a pleasure to have your feedback. thanks for dropping in.

    Shashi, i think that one of the most beautiful things about sharing work online is just what you’ve illustrated– inspiring and being inspired by others to create yet more art. Thank you so much for coming by and for sharing your lovely haiku with me.

    Andreas, wow. “the delicate flavor of Neruda-lines.” i’m speechless. thank you so much.

    ciao for now,
    jsl

    January 13, 2011 at 7:09 pm

  18. Passionate, intimate, with welcome/fresh language.

    January 18, 2011 at 2:50 pm

  19. I am officially a fan of your works. I’ve always been intrigued by poetry with similar styles as yours but I guess it’s one of the things I fail at. Makes me more awestruck whenever I read your works.

    “while i connect the stars like needlepricks
    between synapses, mapping
    consciousness and constellations
    with the electricity of a penstroke”

    Wow. Just wow.

    January 23, 2011 at 12:46 am


    • yuuki-chan, you are simply too kind.

      February 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

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